#027: Let's ponder about fate
Grief, time travel and parallel universes, what-ifs, and more tiny yet precious life moments
Hey, there! OK to BE is a Sunday newsletter about my adventures in reading, writing stories, creating art, collaborating, and being human. Thank you for reading! :)
The start of my 2023 kind of whipped me, and not in a *~SLAY~* or sweet-creamy way. Third week of January, my granduncle on my mother’s side passed away. A week after? My paternal grandmother died. Between all the driving and going on flights and dealing with grief and the rest of life’s demands, I am exhausted, to nobody’s surprise.
That doesn’t mean my tendency to nurture that, let’s call it, imaginative part of my brain that asks all the what-ifs has shut down as well. At times like this, it might just be even more active. And I don’t think I’m alone when I say that a lot of us would also ponder what could’ve happened if we did something differently than what we did about a particular thing or situation.
The Sleeping Dinosaur in Mati, Davao Oriental / On my way to my granduncle’s wake
For instance, what if my granduncle agreed to go to the hospital to get the medical help he so needed and deserved? Or what if my grandmother didn’t have to go through all that pain and effort for dialysis and hospital visits and ICU stays and instead waited for, basically, Jesus to take the wheel? What if my mom’s aunt insisted for her husband to go for treatment or surgery? What if my dad couldn’t fly in earlier to get to his mother’s side in time?
Questions we can only envision the answers to. We don’t know for sure yet if there’s a parallel universe, and we don’t have the technology or established opportunity to time travel and change things, so for now, all we can do is to constantly try to be better at accepting life as it is.
Sunrise in my father’s hometown in Pangasinan
It’s a heavy task, I know. Like many, I’m someone who has had hundreds of *whys and why-nots @ God and the universe* moments. That even though I’ve come to believe and accept that things are meant to happen the way they do, no matter how hard I try to change them, there’s still a playful cell in my brain that keeps “challenging” the so-called fate. Kismet. Destiny. God’s plan. Universe’s mystery. Whatever.
Maybe that’s just how human beings are built, ultimately. To me, it’s a gift to keep wondering and hoping—and an even bigger one to keep playing with the cards of life we’re dealt with and making the most out of them.
What is your biggest recurring what-if, and how do you manage it?
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That’s all for now! I hope you picked up something fun or useful. If you have any questions for me, type them in the comments section below or reply to the email. See you in the next one ☀️
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January 2023 reads!
Bookbed’s fundraiser for Lakbay-Kuwentuhan!
Shows and movie recs!
I loved all of these. If you’ve watched any or all, please leave some of your thoughts below!
Creators and things worth checking out…for now*!
*FOR NOW because I work and support quite a lot of people and efforts, so this list will never be comprehensive! I change it up every newsletter issue; please keep looking forward to this section~
Art I love that I found this week!
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