#013: How do we hope?
Déjà vu, emotional health, book recs, and more tiny yet precious life moments
Hey, friend! Thank you for being here. This is a Sunday newsletter! It may be or may not be every Sunday, but this OK to BE email will arrive in your inbox anytime on a Sunday. At the moment, you will receive musings about relatable everyday adventures, more silly than serious stories, and some tiny yet precious moments of life (well, mine, mostly) in between. If anything here touches you in any way, I encourage you to write back or leave a comment—and I shall reply! Also, this is a public dispatch, so feel free to share with a friend or two. Enjoy! :)
“Gabi na naman?!” is perhaps the slogan of the year here in our household, and I feel like that is something I would also hear from you if we lived next door, if not together. Because, doesn’t every day feel like a whole déjà vu? The sun goes up, we wake up, we eat, we work, the sun goes down, we try to have a little fun, we go to sleep, repeat. My brother would often joke about us either living in the Matrix or everyone in the world experiencing a shared dream, and I would tell him how much I wished the latter was true because at least there was a chance we could all wake up from this nightmare just. like. that.
“Ga-bee na naman?!?”
I feel a lot tired, is my point. And I know you do too. Who isn’t? Days are slow and fast and empty and infuriating all at the same time, and there is nothing we can do except to live through every bit. Sometimes I would pause from whatever, go out, and look to the sky to ask “Is this all that there is? Is this really it?” Hope can run out. I mean, I’m only human. You’re also only human. Going through one existential crisis was one thing; another one plus surviving this pandemic is another. Processing grief and anger for everything that has been taken away from us (and God forbid we lose any more) doesn’t mean we are ungrateful for what we do have.
And us filling the void by finding delight in the mundane, the tiny yet bank account-wiping joys, and the very self-aware delulu-ness doesn’t mean we’re not grounded on what’s real. If any, that’s us creating things to look forward to amidst all this bleakness.
What small or big things do you look forward to these days?
Faith
If you’ve been following this section in the past issues, then you know that I’ve recently gone back to looking at my faith, and all the other things I subscribe to. I talk to friends, attend the online Sunday school sessions and services organized by the church I currently attend, consume a decent amount of media to help me reach a clearer definition of my beliefs. So far, what I said here remains: I believe God is real, but unlike the traditional teachings of the church, the God I “know” only has two commands: be good and do good. The God I talk to also feels more of a mix between a parent and a friend (or maybe that’s me projecting my relationship with my own parents), rather than an authoritative, powerful, punishment-driven figure I’m supposed to be fearful of.
I still have about a thousand questions, especially about the Bible and religion (questionable things times a thousand), and I’m happy I have safe spaces to raise them. I know that one day, like all earthly things, my perception will change, but at this very moment, this is where I am at.
What is one thing about your belief you just can’t seem to grasp as easily?
Food, one of the best things about life and admittedly, one of the things I look forward to every day
Before I launch into my food photo diary, please answer these?
What kind of rice do you eat at home? If you don’t eat rice, what is the sub?
Durian season where I am! Do NOT buy at the grocery store; buy on the sidewalk/street corners, hehehe
Very good banana cake T___T
Minute Burger never gets old!
By @keikookiesph, from from a friend (thank you!)
Ube cake for JK, courtesy of my brother and his gf’s anniversary, lol; Chicharoni wants some
Good for digestion
Fitness
Of course we’ll always have BTS* here (and thank God for Bangtan because they have truly made so many of my days lighter), and I want to share with you this 3J Butter dance video that dropped last September 9. It’s a short routine so it seems low-impact but I’ve tried once and well, very high-yield. (Important to note that my fitness is probably around 3 or 4 on a scale of 10 nowadays [I only have enough will to stretch], so there’s that.)
*It’s Namjoon’s birthday today! Watch my birthday doodle for him (OT7 because the members LOVE him and we all do too, hehe), and check out OK to BE zine Issue 2, the Namjooning edition.
For the love of friendship, kindly send me some of the exercises you do on the regular!
Fiction
ICYMI: The OK to BE zine is now on its third issue! Releasing on September 19, the release will feature art and stories that are all about HEALTH. Pre-orders for digital and print are now available here: OK to BE zine on Gumroad.
Exclusive for you: Use the code ‘healthykb’ upon checkout for digital to get $1 off. Valid only until September 19.
PLUS! I’m looking for interested contributors to Issue 4. This is the first time I'm releasing an open call. Visit this link for details.
⭐ Featured
...Word of the Week — Binisaya: samok, which means to agitate, pester, or annoy. In a sentence: “Ayaw kog samoka kay nagbasa ko (Don’t pester me; I’m reading)”
...Word of the Week — Ilocano: banog, which means tired. In a sentence: “Nabanog ak agbuya ti news (I’m tired watching the news)”
...Signs of the Week: this Permission to Dance video (not sponsored, not connected)! I’m trying to learn the whole bit because it’s fun, and I do need to brush up on my signing skills.
...Books of the (past) Week(s): I’m closer to my goal of finishing 70 books for this year (I have talky vlogs on my Patreon, if interested!), and for October, I’m planning to read the titles recommended by friends. If you have one that you think I would enjoy reading, feel free to let me know!
How to Ride a Train to Ulaanbaatar and Other Essays by Josephine V. Roque - info (copy provided by author; my review on Bookbed)
When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead - info
Why Is Sex Fun: The Evolution of Human Sexuality by Jared Diamond - info
The Children's Story: A Collection of Stories by James Clavell - info
The Great Lives Series by Tadhana Books (stories about Philippine heroes and other important historical figures) - info
Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs (I loved the film; first time to have read the book)
A Natural History of Love by Diane Ackerman - info
Kommunity 2021 - info
Gratitude by Oliver Sacks
Cute Kawaii Doodles by Sarah Alberto - info (For transparency, I am friends with the illustrator-author, and it's always a joy for me to support creator friends. I love her work and this book.)
That’s it for now! Thank you for being here. I hope you picked up something fun or useful! See you in the next one. ☀️
If you enjoyed this newsletter or have any questions, let me know. I appreciate your effort in growing our connection!
To see more of what I do, visit my page or subscribe to my smol YT channel. :]
I disconnect once a week, and by disconnect I mean not opening any social media or talking to anyone (and I live alone lol), and not spending the whole day in front of a screen. If there's an emergency, anyone can reach me thru my mobile #.
For me, this exercise helps break my daily routine of wake-work-sleep, and gives me enough time to refresh and gain some much-needed peace of mind and quiet (which is quite rare these days). And yeah, it's one of the few things I look forward to.
Another great and inspiring newsletter as always!
I'm also interested in the open call for Issue 4 :D